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Throwing a party for someone without asking if the date works for them?

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ETA: Sorry for the long post!

 

So a lot of our friends can’t make it to our wedding because they live in our current area and we are getting married in a different state, where we are from and all our relatives live (so basically a DW for friends here). And we are bummed that a lot of them can’t come but we understand of course. 

We were thinking all along that we would throw another party in our current area to celebrate with these friends. One of my friends offered to throw us a party and I told her I’d let her know when some good dates would be, because FI is taking boards in September and will be busy studying between our wedding and his boards 

Then all of a sudden another friend who is not coming posts an event on Facebook that is a party to celebrate their housewarming and our marriage, which is a date that does not work for us because of FI’s boards. Plus this friend has some weird drama with FI’s friends so we don’t want to have it at her house, we were thinking somewhere neutral like our apartment. I have no idea if this is the same party the other friend wanted to have or a different one. The other friend throwing the housewarming party hasn’t even talked to us about this party or found out if the date works for us, so that’s really awkward too. And now it’s out there for the whole world to see (or the 61 people she invited). 

I suppose I should just contact both friends and find out what’s going on, but is there anything else you would do? I am also kind of mad because the friend having the housewarming party is inviting all these people we don’t know and didn’t invite to our wedding… so it could be awkward with people who weren’t invited to the wedding. And I don’t really want to celebrate it with people I don’t know. And there is a part of me that wants my own party with my friends that is not someone’s housewarming. (Our wedding only happens once, this person has moved every year for the past three years and had a housewarming every time…) But maybe I should just suck it up. I’m annoyed she didn’t even ask me about this but on the other hand I realize that she’s trying to do a nice thing for us and is well-intentioned.

I just don’t even know where to start right now. Probably wait until FI gets home and see what he has to say? Any thoughts?


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